The Ins and Outs of Giving

Part 1: Outside and Inside Giving

Remembering the Purisima (see blogs from December of 2009 and previous years) on our street in early December makes me think about the contrasts between December here and in the North. On our street in Managua, the majority of the lights, displays, and decorations are outside on the porches, with just a few inside. Gift-giving takes place outside on the street to anyone who comes. I watch as people who would not ordinarily have gifts for themselves or their children happily shoulder heavy bags full of food, kitchen utensils, games, and plastic toys—and visions of Santa Claus dance through my North American head. Gift-giving within families (even at Christmastime) is not emphasized—the greater emphasis is on eating together and exploding tons of firecrackers, which also happens outside with neighbors.

In the US, while many people have some lights outside, the majority of holiday decorations are inside. Similarly, most gifts in the US are given inside houses to family and close friends. Not that generosity is absent. This Christmas, while visiting the US, I witnessed many efforts by families and churches to think about “outside giving.” As they will tell you, doing this takes intentional effort and a fight against the cultural current.

Antony and Samira are two of our neighbors who often come by looking for food. Their attire includes dirty over-sized shorts tied up by an old computer cord that they snatched, along with their broken shoes, from a trash bin. If they had been born into an “inside giving” cultural system, they would have no chance of receiving gifts. But I saw their large smiles as they sucked on candy and toted their backpacks stuffed with toys down the street. They saw me and ran over, opening their bags. “Elizabeth! Tell Simon to pick whatever he wants from here!” I wonder, as the tears well up, whether I will ever find any better teachers for my little boy of generous love and giving.

In a juxtaposition that makes my head swim, just two weeks later, we are visiting a church in the US when I am introduced to the Amy Grant song “Give this Christmas Away” as a soundtrack to the Samaritan’s Purse shoebox campaign. With uncanny irony, this campaign allows North Americans to pack shoeboxes with food, kitchen utensils, games, and plastic toys to send to children in “poor” countries like Nicaragua to teach them about love and giving.

Part 2: More thoughts about giving

We posted our funny list about Simon’s birthday gifts, but I wanted to add one more reflection on our cultural lessons (maybe more appropriately entitled “How Beth and Alan Continue Messing Up and Experiencing Patience and Grace from their Neighbors”) about giving. Even though Nicaraguans are normally not into specific invitations (showing up and visiting are more common), birthday parties are an exception. Since I have received invitations to birthday parties in the past, I assumed we would need to send invitations for Simon’s birthday party. So I made and printed invitations and began handing them out like candy to everyone we knew or sort-of-knew or who came to ask for one once the word got around. For some reason, I assumed that most people would probably not bring gifts. A Nicaraguan friend quickly set me straight, explaining that the expectation behind an invitation is a gift, and that if someone can’t afford a gift, they will refuse the invitation rather than come empty-handed. “Oh no!” I thought. “The last thing this only-grandchild needs is more gifts! The economy is worse every day and I know that many people don’t even have enough to eat. I don’t want people to feel obligated and spend their money on unnecessary gifts.” I quickly tried to go around to neighbors and friends, back-peddling and explaining that I would prefer if people do not bring gifts. I received only confused expressions. Nonetheless, I hoped they would take it to heart and didn’t set up a gift table, wanting to save everyone hassle, embarrassment, and money.

The day of the party, I saw some of the first guests come in with gifts, and I tried to quickly shuffle them off to the back and not make a show of it. They would have none of that—they insisted on giving the gift directly to Simon. In some cases, they also insisted on telling him ahead of time what it was. This was a ritual and part of the fun of the party, and I was trying to smash it. Something clicked: This silly North American is still in the mindset that buying and giving gifts is an obligation instead of a special joy! The poorer the party guest, the more pride and joy I observed in offering their gifts to Simon.

Part 3: One more reflection on giving

This time the lesson has come from church. Our church has been in the process of expanding the building for the last few years, working slowly as we can raise the money, taking great pride in the process. Finally, this week we needed to commit to putting on the new roof, the one part that weather and security will not allow us to do “poco a poco.” The pastor preached about Elijah and the widow—about the oil and flour didn’t run out even though they knew it should have long before. He encouraged us, many of whom are unemployed and find daily nourishment a struggle, to pray in faith and watch how God would provide miracles. The next night, the co-pastor preached on cheerful giving, and we took the final offering. Now, less than one week later, we are rejoicing in the miracle that we have a roof and a functioning new sanctuary. (Alan even helped a little with tearing down the old walls!) What most struck me was the slogan our pastor coined, “En medio de la pobreza, abundemos en riqueza.”

“In the midst of poverty, we have abundant riches.”